Yellow Diamonds in the Light.

Hello!

Wow. It's been forever since I've blogged. I kept meaning too, however laziness is a great friend of mine.

What to talk about?

A lot has happened. Both good and bad things. More so bad than good. What else is new?

This semester is NOT playing out how I wanted it too. Then again, when do my plans and hopes come true? Enough of my negativity.

College is kicking my butt. However, what is college without stress?

Do you ever have those days when the world just turns against you?

I want to talk about Thanksgiving Break, and how it was so shitty. I really hate complaining about my life, but I feel as if I have too. Plus, no one reads this anyway.

I leave Potsdam at around 1:30 p.m. Endure the entire 8 hour car ride home. I HATE that I live so far away.  I literally did not rest this entire vacation, so I didn't get to do anything. Beside working at Wal-mart! Hurray! -__-

I want this semester to finish. I also pray that I pass everything! God help me!

Back in the habit..

So the summer is over! Went by fast right? No it didn't! Well it kind of did.

Recap of my summer: 


Walmart
Albany
Constant fights with my father and twin little brothers

That's all folks.

Kind of sad and pathetic I know, but it's alright I guess.

I am very happy to be back in school! I love SUNY Potsdam, however I get this weird feeling inside, which I won't describe, because it is kind of silly, and I hate feeling like this.

Oh well enough of me complaining. I love the suite that I am in this year! It's great! =D I love all my suitemates, and we haven't started to take off each others head yet.......yet -___-

I honestly do not know what else to write about.

Until next time!

Finally everything is playing out...

Fuck the drama! Fuck my complaining! Fuck it all!

You know how they say, "Don't ever take anything to seriously. It won't matter in the future anyway."

Everyday I find myself believing that even more and more. Everyday I find myself developing my own sense of character.

I feel right now that my life is coming together. The pieces of the jig saw puzzle are finally depicting a picture of who am I meant to be.

:]

This is going to be a long one....

SPOILER ALERT***

    The is going to sound depressing and pessimistic. I apologize ahead of time, but if you can see what I have to go through on a daily basis you yourself would say, "Yeah it's kind of hard for him to be happy right now."

So let's cover the basis right now.

In February, I think it was February...Anyway in February my Mother moved out. Now, that is okay with me. I didn't cry about it, or get upset. I know I am a heartless son of a bitch. However, I did not get upset, I was okay with it.

Now, being home with my Mother not here at first was weird, but after a few days I got over it. Just kept doing what I was doing.

I'll just skip to why I am upset right now. I wake up at like 11:15 a.m. and my Mother was in my driveway waiting for my little brothers to go outside to her. Well she called me and we talked, and something my Mother does is she yells, a lot! I asked her where she was going, and she began to get into this whole rant about how she was suppose to be here earlier but the "boys" (my little brothers) weren't awake. I hate people yell at me, especially when I just first wake up in the morning. So, I started to yell at her saying not to yell at me, all I did was ask you a simple question, I don't need a story behind it.

This all sounds stupid. It probably is, so stopped reading if you want. I could honestly care less...

While we were having our little squabble she brought said something along the lines of this, "Well why do you care? You don't call me anyway?"

This is true. I do not call my Mother. Only, because I have been working.

I told her this, she's like well how am I suppose to know that you're working.

Argued about that for a bit.

So yeah. This is not the best way for the morning to start, let alone the entire day.

Other things have been bothering me too.

I am debating on whether or not I should tell you'll.

One thing that has been bothering me is that, I feel like I am losing my patience. It weird and hard to explain, but I feel as though my patience level -which is generally very high, more then most peoples- is starting to decrease, even if it's by a little I can still feel it.

Quote

Life is a test, you may win this test or fail this test, it demends on how hard to work for the end result… *

It not what a place makes of you but what you make of a place… *

God only test the ones who he knows can get through it…*

Hope for the best but Perpare for the worst…*

The ones you wait for are the ones who keep you behind!

LEAVE!

I AM LEGITIMATELY TRYING TO FORGET YOU, BUT YOU ARE EVERYWHERE!

I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me.

Congrats Hans it's 3:19 am. And you're blogging. And who knows what time you're going to be done at.

Started work today at Walmart! or Wally world. Why do people call it Wally World anyway? It sounds so dumb. (no offense to the people that call it that)

All I can say is, is that it is going to consume my life! Which is good and bad.

GOOD:
Getting paid..a lot!
Keeping me out of my house
Have to wake up early, so I will finally start to develop a better sleep schedule
Make the summer go by really quickly

BAD:
Won't be able to go anywhere
Probably be to tired to play on Xbox Live which I promised my best friend I do
Won't be online as much

Currently I am skypping with my friend Michael. Figured I'd throw that in there.

What else?

I'm talking to this kid. What?!! Look at me making moves :]

Nothing official yet, so there's nothing to get exciting over, but we will see. Just keep your fingers crossed! :]

So I am thinking, but in all honest I don't know what to talk about. Even though normally I have so much to write down.

Maybe because it's summer. I am not in school, and not surrounded by things that could lead to excitement.

Which is good because I am away from drama, but at the same time I kind of miss it.

Seems weird I know, but I missed the fact that my mind isn't consumed with things anymore.

I know I know I should NOT be complaining, and I am not. I am just stating a fact.

Oh Hello!

Gah it's been awhile since I have last blogged. I honestly can say that I have missed it.

So summer is here. I am out of school. I got what I wanted. I hate it.

Long Island is so boring and especially since I don't have a car I can't really go anywhere.

I start work on Saturday though...Thank God. It'll get me out of the house.

I honestly can't think of anything more to write, so I will leave it here, and pick it up again in the future.

Hans Butler

They say that kid he's got soul!

Um...I am in the library attempting to study....."ATTEMPTING" It is not working out so well. I really wish I could just go home and not have to deal finals.

Friday cannot come any sooner.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I have a French Oral Exam at 3:15 p.m.

Which I am probably not going to do well....I will try though!

I am not confident with my French speaking ability....but I will fight through.

Thursday is my busy day.

3 Finals

Accounting
Microeconomics
Biology

I don't think I will do to terribly on the Accounting and Biology.

Microeconomics however is worrying me.

I couldn't even begin to tell you what Microeconomics is -__-

Gahhh I really hope I pass all this!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

While I was reading all my former blogs I realized "Damn, where is the optimism?"

TADA! Here is a healthy dosage of optimism! 

I'd figure that no one is going to want to read my blog when all I write about it is how much of a mess my life is.

"Nothing is going to harm you, Not while I am around." -Sweeney Todd

"I'll steal you Johanna, I'll steal you. Do they think that walls can hide you?" - Sweeney Todd

Why is this silly boy typing song lyrics? Is he being depressed again?

NO NO NO... I am not =D (see a smiley face)

I am referencing Sweeney Todd because I finally watched it from beginning to end, and let me just say what a fantastic movie!

I mean the singing is ehhhh okay, but the story line is awesome... 

Also I keep singing the songs in my head for some reason so you know it must be a good movie! 

Anyway...I am going to try to keep my blogs more happier :] 

BUT! However, Blogging is a great outlet for me to release stress, SO there might be blogs in the future which will be not so optimistic...although! I will try to balance out the good and bad blogs =D that way it'll be more cheerful to read............ 

I feel like I am on a roller coaster...with all these highs and lows....

-____________-

Semester please be over....these last few days you have been bringing me have been some of the best and worst experiences I have had so far.

I cannot begin to describe what happened.... only to say that alcohol can bring the worst out of people.

I am seriously scared right now to see how this semester...as it dwindles down.....

Am I prepared for the worst? Boy I hope so.....

Semester of Mistakes

"Nobody's perfect! I gotta work it, again and again til I get it right!" - Miley Cyrus 

WHAT?!?! Miley Cyrus? She's still alive? Speaking of which where is she? She's not on T.V. anymore....don't think she has released any songs.....or has she? I have no clue....but anyways...this blog is not about her it's about me.

Why yes that conceded son of a bitch wants to write a blog all about him?

HOW DARE HE!!!!

This is probably what's going through your head right now? (Maureen)

I put Maureen in parenthesis because she is the only one who is "following" me on here.

Don't worry! You'll all want to follow me soon because my blogs will become more interesting and funnier(hopefully) as my college years progress.

OKAY So Hans Butler's book of mistakes

I think there should be one...but...I need to learn and I have been acknowledging that things happen...and I need to own up to them and move on. 

I most definitely have been learning from past mistakes here at college. BUT. I keep making them -__-

I have, however, found some qoutes that I would like to share...they make me feel better and hopefully they will make you (Maureen) feel better too...hahah...Alright! HERE WE GO: 

"A man's errors are his portals or discovery." -James Joyce 

"Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein 

"All men make mistakes,but only wise men learn from them." - Winston Churchill 

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte  (I LOVE THIS ONE!) 

....................and............well................thats all I got!

Tune in next time for *insert cute jingle here* 

There's a prize for anyone who can come up with a catchy jingle for my blog!!!

Just kidding there is no prize :(

=] =] =] =] 

Who am I???

"Do you know who I am? Good neither do I!" - Cobra Starship

Cobra Starship....One of the many of other bands that I love.....

SO WHO AM I???

-A music lover?

- A mistake maker?

- A pacifist?

- An empathetic person? 

YES YES YES YES

"Just Dance...it'll be okay." - Lady GaGa

NO! I am not one of those people who are obsessed with Lady GaGa...yes I do love almost all of her songs...especially this lyric.

It always seems to pop up into my head one way or another whenever I am stressed... but it is true.

Everything seems to work out whenever I am in a slump.....

Lucky me?

-___-

"Back off I'll take you on! Headstrong I'll take on anyone!!" - Trapt

Don't let this lyric fool you because I am not....AM NOT..an assertive person at all...AT ALL. I capitalize because it is very true....this is why I allow people to step all over me...I think I am not assertive is because I am afraid that I am going to hurt someones feelings. BUT this lyric does stand true...I will take you and anyone one if you seriously piss me off! 

"This world is so unperfect. This love is so unworth it." Attack Attack!

Still single...change that? 

Okay things are going okay so far...

As my title suggest...things are okay right now.....

I want to be home...I have 10 days left....I can make it I think....I have too!

Alright.

Let's talk about today...

I am in a much better mood... the fun spontaneous, annoying, kind, and funny (at least I think I am) Hans Butler is back!
=D

What did I just do?

Alright. I had 2 post on here. I decided to delete the first one, because it was a bit personal ...and having that type of information out for the world to see on the internet was probably not a great idea. Therefore there's only one post there right now...excluding this one...

So...the weekend is over almost....Got my teeth brushed, mouth washed, and my mind is consumed!!!

Mistakes were made.

Oh yes! I am kind of at a lose for words.

Only that things are okay for now.


Hopefully it will blow over with time!!!

Alright May 3rd what have you got in store for me?

.....Well....Let's see. I woke at like 3ish and missed my 2 only classes today, and I felt so terrible. I was mainly disappointed with myself. Therefore I prayed, got out of  bad and actually did things such as showered and washed my sheets and comforter, and I felt a whole better. I am still in a good mood, and I have a very good feeling about this week!

....Currently I am in the library and going to attempt (key word) to do some of my homework for this week. Wish me luck!